...a mental make-over too.
Interval training...Oy! I love the sandbag slam though...I have started to 'self-modify'...I am sitting here waiting for the words to come out, but really I am just sitting here staring at a mostly blank page.
The Mental Work Out is beating me up me right now (don't get me wrong, I am still sore; not so much achy anymore...but sore in a very good "weakness leaving the body" kind of way) and I don't think I prepared myself for the raw truth(s) volcano (my emotional self) eruption. I am sad. I am sad that I have not been a very good person a very lot of times, I am sad that I have friends suffering through unimaginable situations and still smiling for their surfaces, still showing up, I am sad because I miss my (people) friends, family, parents and grandparents for my kids, and I am sad that I have let things with my own fit and form get soo...heavy.
I was given this morning and I am definitely thankful, I was able to witness the most beautiful 'black and white cookie-moon' ((double thankful even)).
I SHOWED UP... this day belongs to victory already.
For an hour this morning I got to breath it all out, I got to push through the sadness and focus on ME. Jogged the entire first warm up lap (that is roughly 1/4 ((one quarter!)) of a mile, then weighted I walked mostly. I do have an awesome group that is so encouraging and powerful, and yes I know at least one person saw me flip off (shoot the bird at, show my middle finger to) Surgery Sam this morning...my arms were such jelly that I was worthless to collect any pieces for my "Pattys".
I have started to "self-modify" some of the exercises because I just don't feel confidence in my body to do full out "macaraneas" and "get ups"...OMfrickin'Gobstopper...they should really be called "the upper body burpee that destroys your thighs and keeps your abdomen painfully in check"...I am going to have to add those stupid things to my goal list...
Speaking of goals...I'm not off my knees for push ups (Yet...) but I can feel the work I have been doing in my arms and even though I am still on my knees, the push ups I am doing feel really good and are getting stronger.
working out under the most beautiful sunrises you can imagine also makes it worth it!!!
Still really happy with my life changing choice, and post work out today..... I am feeling a lot better about my sadness...less sad anyway. Today is a beautiful day and I got to recover with my chocolate milk reward and there is nothing wrong with that!
Give hugs and/or high fives freely, just keep moving.
-i
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