stride, modify and embrace change

i need to find my stride (in all things 😶 i suppose)

i need to work on my stride [as i sit here i think back to the times when I was in my stride, and what that felt like]...to find, remember or realize my stride...here is a 'but-kicker' or 'burpee'...my stride will have to 'change' as my path shifts or as my pace (or drive even) adjusts to a task; i am going to have to embrace change.

Pretty much the moment I get going into a "double time" I begin to feel like I am just going to fall down dead if I run another step; or run smack into a wall that went up at my start somewhere along the way. So my trainer says to me, she says "...you will find your stride..." and it resonated
Stride: a step or stage in progress toward an aim...Granted it also simmered on the back burner of my brain for days...

Once my ears quit ringing and thoughts settled down what i heard was..."It is Okay to Modify!!!"
Modify: make partial or minor changes to (something), typically so as to improve it to make it less extreme.
This is not something (i remember) any one person saying but it is something that I have learned. I am not saying that i have never been told "do not modify", it just means i realized that if there is truly no shame in my game, I have to be honest and realistic in my approach to conditioning and training my body.  Modify the lap!!! I modify other exercises (definitely insert someone saying to me "here is a modification for this"...) why not modify the long ass warm up lap(s)...I actually facepalm(ed) myself when this was suggested...why in the Sam H.E.DoubleHockeySticks didn't I think of that?

On an off day, I got a wild hair and ran/jogged/double timed to the mailbox...(the most glorious work affirming (striding!) four tenths of a mile) and it was awesome! and I got to do this with my kids who were amazing, supportive and (frankly) faster than me!

I have to embrace change...and stop building walls to avoid it.
{{{spoiler alert! i have already started , and had no idea , #CHANGEingMiLife }}}
?why do I get so frustrated???...with my kids or an alternate schedule or a work challenge?
... Because things are changing (and i have come to feel like I don't do well with change)
...i feel like when things are changing i will lose (the) little bit of control in whatever it is I have been working on because things are different, new to me. {{{double mind blown emoji}}}

Then...a foam roller...
a friend gave me one some years ago and it got moved around a lot and used a few times but not actually using a foam roller.

You see,,,the way i see it... Actually using a foam roller requires Needing to use a foam roller and if you need to use a foam roller you have been doing some work and can actually (by actually ((here)) i mean properly/effectively) use a foam roller...#yagetme?
I spent a few days rolling around on the floor on my back, even trying to get my kids to foam roll me before i figured out to stand against the wall...{{{insert another facepalm here}}}

I have been able to, and find more energy to be more productive and just better. I am working to embrace burpees (they are still uber stoopid!!!) and overcome my own anxieties that I am not good enough to be good.

i am Thankful, i am Grateful and i am good.

until next time,
...thanks for reading