the bachelor

i don't get it!!!!! how many women all dating one guy at one time....it really just seems kind of unsanitary. i mean all of these girls living together and spending time with one another, getting to know each other and dating the same guy.....then at the rose ceremony....they pat each other on the back when each gets a rose. i gues any chance to be launched into thier 15 minutes of fame....i just don't get it. and geez...that stupid final rose how utterly sad. women crying because this guy did not choose them while dating like 27 other ladies and have to walk away. i sure hope abc offers counseling for these girls, or maybe they are just looking to be the next bachlorette.
ugh, why am i still watching this, this train wreck.

choc. chip cookies

i am making chocolate chip cookies and really really want to try to dough! so far i have not...i even walked away to start this blog to avoid temptation to lick the beater! i will try ONE....but am going to try to wait until they are done. i feel pretty confidant that even if tried the dough before baking i would have no idea how to fix them if they did not tatste right....and because my unpredjudice love for cookie dough i would probably not know that it was missing or needed anything.

it is a W...

i fought the twc.... and i won (that should be sung as if singing "I fought the law..."). it is really not even a big deal, i appealed what i thougt was a bad decision...waited, had my hearing and what was right prevailed. in my recent but seemingly endless search for a new job it was a victory that i needed. i am not even sure why i am blogging about it, maybe just to put it out there. if there is something you can do about a situation, even if you don't think it will help or turn things in your favor....do it, most simply because you can. the worst thing that can happen is you can be told no. when you don't have anything to lose and something to gain isn't it worth it?

post office receipt

i go to the post office locate something close enough to what i need, wait in line, read all the "important" messages posted all over the place, get called up, purchase one cushioned envelope and postage for a grand total less than five dollars and get a receipt as long as my arm!
no wonder the price of a stamp continues to rise....if our own postal service does not see the value in all of the paper they are wasting to give me badly formatted information (that has been posted on all the walls around me) that i am going to wad up and throw away (or recycle) then why wouldn't the price go up. i think i am going to only use internet or kiosk postal services from now on....at least i am in control of weather or not i get an erroneous over verbalized receipt or not.

Dead End

I grew up on a "dead end" street, and that is where I feel I have ended up. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Even my hobby bores me. I wake up, check my email file the rejection emails for jobs applied for and hope that I will find a posting for my dream job this day. What is my dream job? I don't even think I am qualified for it. I no longer feel qualified for anything. The longer I stay unemployed, the more searching I do, the more obvious it becomes that I no longer have what it takes to do anything. I am not even a good housewife as I can not seem to motivate myself to even clean the bathroom mirror.

What am I good at? Is what I am good at what I want to do everyday? How can it be if after 36 years of living I don't even know what that is?.

In our new techno savvy environments how do you get your foot in the door when you don't know anyone or anything but a search engine and how to attach a lackluster resume to an online application. Is this how it ends up for the baby from the dead end? Or is there and over the rainbow for me too?

My Inspiration

i lay next to him feeling his heart beat.

he holds my hand softly in his over his heart

he sleeps holding me so effortlessly and i love him for that.

i love him because he has given me so much more than i had even realized.

he loves me.

the best man

I married the best man! 10 years ago (this past august) I met him and knew he was great, but I did not have any idea the magnitude of his "greatness" until recent events opened my eyes a bit wide"er". I am by no means a patient person, to my credit he knew that when we got married, (7 years ago this past November) but he has taught me to communicate. I have learned lot of things that I should have learned growing up but missed. He was paying attention growing up and had a pretty supportive family that I have been lucky enough to have been welcomed into. I was recently fired from my retail job pretty unexpectedly and while my salary was not our primary income, it has really put a hurt on our household. My best man is able to see through the darkness and show me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Working through our budget, making sacrifices and helping to keep my spirits up as I search through a volatile job market with job skills that are average at best. I married the best man.